Crystal Coates

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  • I Was Such a Liar
    Long before the infertility diagnosis I remember begging God for the opportunity to be a mom. I fondly remember my “never conversations” with God and wonder if he was laughing at my ridiculous ignorance of parenthood and myself. I clearly … Continue reading → […]
  • When You Are Certain You Are Failing
    Another academic year has started and the mommy taxi is always on the go. We are not even a month in and my phone is buzzing me with reminders of who, and what, and how often all the things are … Continue reading → […]
  • Time Hop
    A photo can act like a time machine set on mute. In a instant it can send you through time, replaying different moments and scenes, sometimes even playing on your senses–but you can do nothing but watch. Welcome to 2005, … Continue reading → […]
  • 12 Years Later
    12 years ago today I almost died and I would have welcomed it that day. August 21st, 2006. Digits seared into my soul–so many digits. 17 weeks, when my water broke on twin A. 18 weeks, when I was asked … Continue reading → […]
  • The Hard Place
    It wasn’t supposed to go like this.  14 years I waited, while hope of ever carrying a child myself grew worn and faint. Yet it steadfastly flickered on–unwilling to be snuffed out.  Three years ago this month God breathed life … Continue reading → […]
  • Redemptive Snapshots
    Sometimes God gives a reminder of just how big he is and it makes my eyes leak. 26 years ago last month, our second oldest daughter was born in Mexicali, Mexico a month before I turned 12. Today, her 13 … Continue reading → […]
  • To the Parent-Who-Just-Can’t-Today
    To the Parent-Who-Just-Can’t-Today, To the new mommy who is trying to figure out breast-feeding, is still rockin’ those awesome post-partum mesh undies, and cries at all the things, I see you. To the weary parent of littles who can’t use … Continue reading → […]
  • The Why (The Day I Attempted Suicide, Part 2)
    “…you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” John 8:32 IF I were dying, THEN they would realize how much they love me–this was a fantasy I would play out in my mind often as I tried … Continue reading → […]
  • The Day I Attempted Suicide
    21, married only 4 months to the man of my dreams, and desperate to make the pain end.  Death. My death was the only possible solution. The darkness was so profound it felt like a weight on my chest.  How … Continue reading → […]
  • Jiggly Bits, Inflated Udders, and a Bathing Suit
    There are some choices that you realize were not your brightest only when reflecting back. This was one of mine. Post-partum was such a wardrobe challenged time, at least for me, as my belly was stuck somewhere between marshmallow and … Continue reading → […]

Recent Posts

  • I Was Such a Liar
  • When You Are Certain You Are Failing
  • Time Hop
  • 12 Years Later
  • The Hard Place

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