Crystal Coates

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  • Sex Would Never Work
    It was 8 months since I had gone off birth control pills and we began trying. 8 months of timed intercourse, negative pregnancy tests and mounting tension. There was an unspoken ache growing in my womb instead of a baby. … Continue reading → […]
  • 12 Years Later I am Quitting Being a Homeschool Mom
    For the last 12 years I have worked tirelessly to be the best stay-at-home-homeschooling-mom that I could be.  Some of you reading that sentence are applauding me, while others are rolling their eyes and maybe even releasing an audible groan. … Continue reading → […]
  • Untethered
    “Go back.” It was supposed to be my time to recharge, not to revisit places that seared my soul like a branding iron. “Go back.” Over and over the thought pressed, set on repeat, echoing in a gentle whisper. I … Continue reading → […]
  • The Death of a Son
    Jesus on the cross. A few years ago I was asked to contemplate and create a piece of art through photography that spoke to that scene.  At first, I was overwhelmed. What could I possibly do with photography that could … Continue reading → […]
  • A Question About Adoption
    “Would you do it again?” she asked, curious to know my answer as she watched the tears fall down my face.  I knew what she was really wanting to know–was all the pain worth it? I think it is easy … Continue reading → […]
  • A Bartender and a Carrot Cake
    I sat in the hotel lobby area sipping on my morning coffee, watching the beautiful, golden, early morning light pour in through the glass doors just a half dozen yards in front of me when I noticed him slowly shuffling … Continue reading → […]
  • The Death of Shame
    I have spent the last 3 years frustrated and angry with my body.  I have asked approximately 1 million questions, all related to the unfairness of it all.  The brokenness, the pain, the setbacks after surgery that have drawn out … Continue reading → […]
  • Persistence Over Perfection
    By nature I am a quitter. Quit the hard. Somewhere along the line I bought the lie that the dream life was one of my comfort. Today I looked longingly at the park, blanketed in a thin layer of fog, … Continue reading → […]
  • Paradise and the Camp Fire
    “Mom, you have to see the sky!” I stood in my PJ’s watching the horrifying black cloud crawling through the skyline from our upstairs windows, fear and helplessness overcoming me. I rushed downstairs and hopped onto my computer to see … Continue reading → […]
  • I Was Such a Liar
    Long before the infertility diagnosis I remember begging God for the opportunity to be a mom. I fondly remember my “never conversations” with God and wonder if he was laughing at my ridiculous ignorance of parenthood and myself. I clearly … Continue reading → […]

Recent Posts

  • Sex Would Never Work
  • 12 Years Later I am Quitting Being a Homeschool Mom
  • Untethered
  • The Death of a Son
  • A Question About Adoption

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