Crystal Coates

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  • The Furnace
    I turned down the radio. The song seemed trite, and I have no space or grace for trite right now. The cool fall air had been hijacked by a warm front that left me feeling robbed of the one mercy … Continue reading → […]
  • My Weakness
    My Weakness In November 2014 we completed our one and only round of IVF, “our last try.” The cycle was almost a bust because for reasons unknown at the time my ovaries weren’t responding to the meds. (We would later … Continue reading → […]
  • To Be Seen
    I have eyed the medicine sitting in its bright blue plastic bag in my refrigerator door off and on all day; tonight the shots will begin.  It is a 3-pronged approach to hopefully wake up my ovaries and shock them … Continue reading → […]
  • Gearing Up For a FET
    I stand in front of the mirror and look at my body that has gone through so much. My curves aren’t quite where I wish they were, and I am fluffier than I want to be. My scars are numerous, … Continue reading → […]
  • Why We Are Leaving the Church
    This last week I learned that having been born in 1980 I am right on the line, classified by some as a Gen X’er and by others as a Millennial.  It doesn’t really matter. Some say it is only the … Continue reading → […]
  • Sex Would Never Work
    It was 8 months since I had gone off birth control pills and we began trying. 8 months of timed intercourse, negative pregnancy tests and mounting tension. There was an unspoken ache growing in my womb instead of a baby. … Continue reading → […]
  • 12 Years Later I am Quitting Being a Homeschool Mom
    For the last 12 years I have worked tirelessly to be the best stay-at-home-homeschooling-mom that I could be.  Some of you reading that sentence are applauding me, while others are rolling their eyes and maybe even releasing an audible groan. … Continue reading → […]
  • Untethered
    “Go back.” It was supposed to be my time to recharge, not to revisit places that seared my soul like a branding iron. “Go back.” Over and over the thought pressed, set on repeat, echoing in a gentle whisper. I … Continue reading → […]
  • The Death of a Son
    Jesus on the cross. A few years ago I was asked to contemplate and create a piece of art through photography that spoke to that scene.  At first, I was overwhelmed. What could I possibly do with photography that could … Continue reading → […]
  • A Question About Adoption
    “Would you do it again?” she asked, curious to know my answer as she watched the tears fall down my face.  I knew what she was really wanting to know–was all the pain worth it? I think it is easy … Continue reading → […]

Recent Posts

  • The Furnace
  • My Weakness
  • To Be Seen
  • Gearing Up For a FET
  • Why We Are Leaving the Church

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